They are wondering who won the basketball game, when their next opportunity for sex will be, whether they would choose steak or cheeseburgers if they had only one thing they could eat the rest of their lives, when their next opportunity for sex will be, if they should get a new sound system installed in the car or buy better golf clubs instead, when their next opportunity for sex will be, if, hmmmmm, spaghetti might be the one thing to eat the rest of their lives, and when their next opportunity for sex will be.

This helps explain why men seem so forgetful. "It's your mother's birthday this Friday," a wife will say. The husband, hearing only half her words, hears, "Your birthday Friday" and thinks, "Gee, that came around quickly. Great. Maybe that will be my next opportunity for sex."

Myself, I think that science has certain ethical obligations, and I believe that science was unethical in reporting that men listen with only half their brains. It only gives them a built-in excuse for not listening. "I can't help it, honey; I'm just built that way."

Worse, it gives them leeway to listen even less than they already do. "Did you say something? I'm sorry, I was only half-listening." If a man, by definition, is already half-listening, then his being aware of only half-listening means he is only quarter-listening. Which means he may as well be patio furniture.

Miscommunication between couples, they say, is the root cause of most problems. Well, miscommunication seems hotwired into our biology if men are always half-listening. "Honey," says a wife, "I'm going to run to the grocery store." The husband hears, "Come to the bedroom. Let's have sex." You see the problem.