5. Upon hearing the phrase "Excuse the cart," immediately stops walking and looks from side to side.

6. Forgets kindergarten math and stands at boarding area expecting that, in the alternate universe that is the airport, Group 5 will come before Group 2.

7. While boarding, takes the maximum amount of time in the aisle while searching the bottom of his large carry-on bag for important items like a lost Snickers bar before shoving the bag in overhead bin, crushing all other contents in bin.

8. Requests verbal recitation of all available beverages from flight attendant during in-flight service.

9. When disembarking, stops immediately upon entry into terminal to ensure mass pileup of passengers behind him.

10. Upon learning that road warrior travels for work, travel rookie states how lucky you are - and who are we kidding, we are pretty lucky. - Tammy Redmon, Fort Worth, Texas


1. Luggage owns the person.

2. Rushes.

3. Obsessed with the details.

4. Wears high-heeled shoes.

5. Talks too loud, too much in small public places.

6. Luggage doesn't have wheels.

7. Can't accept "no" when things go wrong or change.

8. Reclines his seat all the way during mealtime.

9. Thinks he has to have a paper ticket … e-ticket, what's that?

10. Compares everything with how it is at home. - Janie James-High, Prescott Valley, Arizona

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10. A direct relationship to the degree of rookieness with the number of pieces of jewelry/metal worn when entering security.

9. Attempting to walk the airplane aisle before the beverage service is over.

8. The lack of a BlackBerry/PDA phone.

7. The ability to bump into every aisle seat passenger on the way to his seat.

6. Irritation over a weather delay (not the agent's fault!).

5. The belief that no carry-on is too big to fit in the overhead.

4. Luggage without wheels.

3. Paper tickets.

2. Boarding groups are a mystery.