Captain | 30th wedding anniversary | New York | speaker

"My wife and I were flying to New York to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. As we boarded the flight, I asked one of the flight attendants if she could ask the captain to let me know when we reached 30,000 feet. When the captain announced over the speaker system that we were leveling off at 30,000 feet, I presented my wife with a diamond necklace. Then the captain announced our anniversary and everyone applauded and the flight attendant showed up with champagne."
- Nori Umemoto, San Jose, California

CAN I GET A RECEIPT FOR THAT?
"My work as a still photography producer has provided me the opportunity to travel to exotic locations. In order to get permission to shoot in a small village in Botswana, I met with the village elders. In lieu of U.S. dollars as payment for a location fee, the elders preferred two goats, which would provide food for the village. Later, I turned in an expense report that read, 'two goats in lieu of location fee: $150.' After much memoing, accounting reluctantly reimbursed me. The problem? They had no internal code for 'two goats.'"
- James Larson, Chicago, Illinois

THAT'S ONE NASTY CAFFEINE HABIT
"Due to bad weather, our flight was routed to Dallas. At 4 a.m., a few weary travelers and I were checking in to a local hotel. I noticed the man in front of me in line could hardly stay awake and was very irritable. He finally checked in and went off to his room. When I was done, I walked to my room. Suddenly, a door opened, and out into the hall came the same man, except he was completely naked! He looked at me and in a very loud voice asked, 'Where's the Coke machine?' I asked him if he realized he was naked, and when he looked down at himself, he was so surprised that he let go of his door and it slammed shut and locked. I thought he was about to cry, so I took out a T-shirt and handed it to him so he could go back to the front desk."