Cheever

2. Get past the shame barrier. “I’ve worked with many people who felt that their state of joblessness was a reflection of their character,” Cheever says. “I think that’s a mistake.” Instead, acknowledge that it hurts to lose a job. Give yourself time to wallow, but realize that in a recession, layoffs happen. Then move on. You also have to recognize that your next job may not be your dream job.

3. Keep in touch. “It’s terribly important to keep your friends,” says Cheever. In fact, your friends may be the fastest route back to employment — another reason why breaking the shame barrier is key. If you can’t admit you need a hand, they won’t be able to give you one.

4. Pound the pavement. Don’t have a deep Rolodex full of friends who can help you get a job? In that case, you may discover, as Cheever did, that the most frustrating thing about job hunting isn’t rejection: It’s silence. “It was astonishing to me how infrequently anyone responded,” he says. In a tough job market, you have to put on some sturdy walking shoes and hit the pavement. “Self-selection is an awfully important thing. If you really want a job, pick out the one you want, and go after it,” he advises.