Santa’s Blues Turn Green
by Jim ShahinSANTA: How's the
move going? How do you think? Look at all this stuff.
[Santa's eyes scan the room, drawing my attention to the
landscape of boxes and unpacked toys.] It is amazing what you
accumulate. Where does it all come from? I tell Mrs. Claus we
have to pare down. But then we start going through the stuff,
and everything seems to conjure a memory. So we never throw
anything out. We end up moving little wooden stagecoaches
that nobody wants anymore and cuckoo clocks, for crying out
loud, along with the iPods and the Guitar Hero IIIs. It's
just a nightmare.
AW: Moving is always
hard.
SANTA: Yeah? You've
had some hard moves? Try moving an entire village. There are all
the elves - moving them isn't easy, I don't mind telling you. The
coordination involved … man! Plus, you know elves - they work hard,
they play hard. But besides moving them, we've had to build
entirely new accommodations for them. We decided to go with condos.
And then, of course, you have the reindeer. They're like cats. Or
dogs. I forget which ones don't like to move. Anyway, they keep
coming back to the house. They just keep wanting to play all their
reindeer games. It gets to me. I'll be like, 'Donner! Blitzen! You
want to come back to the old house? Fine. We could use a little
help around here. Start transporting this stuff.' " We've had to
build a new toy-assembly plant and a new sleigh-maintenance
facility. It's been hard on Mrs. Claus, but we're going
to get through it. I don't mind tellin you, it's made me a
little crabby.
AW: How will the move
impact this year's Christmas?
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