5. "Hmmm, I think my bags will do
better if I put them lengthwise in this bin. Or maybe the
other way. Or maybe I should put my jacket between them as a
cushion. Or, hmmm …" [Travel rookies throw all their carry-on
luggage in the overhead compartment, taking their sweet time
to do so, oblivious of the growing line of happy passengers
behind them.]
6. "Wow! Honey, take one over there. I
didn't know there were lakes in Dallas!" [Travel rookies take flash
pictures out the airplane window during takeoff and landing.]
7. "This is our first flight in a while.
We're on our way to visit my wife's relatives in
Los Angeles. Her
brother is a famous producer or something." [Travel rookies talk
loudly enough for all to hear about how excited they are to be
flying.]
8. "Ma'am, what time are we scheduled to
arrive
now?" [Travel rookies repeatedly ask
the flight attendant how much longer the flight is going to take.]
9. "Wow! You travel a lot. How do you
handle the jet lag when you go from
Dallas to Denver? Is it really
as bad as they say it is?" [Travel rookies look at you knowingly
and ask for "professional" advice.]
10. "Oh my goodness, is it really only 3:30
in the morning back in the States? I'm wiped out!" [Travel rookies
ask you with a disturbed look what time it is back home, instead of
adopting their new local time zone … even after days.]
- Robert Kalka, Georgetown, Texas
10. They take notes during the
preflight safety briefing.
9. Their luggage is filled with flashlights
because they were advised to pack light.
8. Use a walkie-talkie-style cell phone to
make a confidential call.
7. Consider the two-carry-on limit to be
just a guideline or a suggestion.
6. Wear lace-up knee-high boots to the
security checkpoint.
5. Are puzzled by clear-air turbulence
announcements.
4. Rush to board at the first announcement
- until they realize what
Group 9 means.
3. Think that a "Sherri Gulczynski Burns
first-person-pronoun count" is the latest diet craze.
2. Dream of the day that they can say that
they have traveled to every airport listed in the back of the
American Way magazine.