diplomat

This may not only help explain mari- tal difficulties, but the strife and turmoil in the world at large. A diplomat from one country meeting with a diplomat from another might say, "I want to say on behalf of my government that we admire the scenic beauty of your great nation and the industriousness of its people." But the other diplomat, because he is only half-listening, thinks he heard, "We are going to war against you next Tuesday." Next thing you know, we've got yet another international crisis.

Still, in the end, things generally seem to work out reasonably well. So my question is: Just how much of the brain do you really need?
Let me demonstrate with a scene from a marriage.

She's talking. I'm listening.

She's saying something about some upcoming event. Uh-huh, I say. She's saying we need a new something or other. I say, hmmm-mmm. She's saying are you listening to me? I say yes, yes, of course I am.

She throws me a glare. You haven't heard a word I've said, she says accusingly.

What? I say, offended. Of course I have.

What's Thursday? she asks.

Her question is the sound of a marital trap being set.

Thursday? I answer, carefully.

Our son's ballgame, she replies impatiently, as if to say, had I been listening I'd know that.

Right, I say, relieved to be finished with the inquisition. The ballgame. Exactly.

Something in her expression, at once indignant and triumphant, tells me the trap has just been sprung.

No, she says. Thursday is YOUR SISTER'S BIRTHDAY.

Like the desperate animal that I am, I try pitifully to maneuver out of the trap's clench. You mean, I say, my sister's birthday and the ballgame are the same day?

She rolls her eyes and exhales a low howl, like the dark wind before a hurricane. I didn't say word one about a ballgame, she says.