NIGHTLIFE

Stu's Disco. Disco isn't dead after all, thanks to owner Disco Stu, who once famously said, "Disco Stu likes disco music."

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five. best. springfield. moments. ever.
a lot of things can happen in a town that borders maine, ohio, nevada, and kentucky. ¶ here are five of the more memorable events, some of which haven't even happened yet. weird.

april 29, 1990 in a story ahead of its time, town tv clown krusty gets arrested for robbing a convenience store. although he was actually framed by his tv sidekick, sideshow bob, krusty is convicted in the media and in popular opinion even before his trial. as homer put it, "the clown is g-i-l-l-t-y."

january 14, 1993 a huckster sells springfield on a flawed monorail project. during its maiden journey, the monorail becomes a runaway, stopping only when conductor homer simpson hooks it to a giant faux donut. homer's conclusion: "donuts. is there anything they can't do?"

may 21, 1995 after an oil reserve is discovered beneath springfield elementary, town billionaire montgomery burns builds a slanted drilling rig in order to drain the reserve without touching the school's property. fumes from the rig pollute nearby­ moe's tavern, causing town drunkard barney gumble to declare, "these fumes aren't as fun as beer. sure, i'm all dizzy and nauseous, but where's the inflated sense of self-esteem?"