Stretch beyond your comfort zone — before turbulent times force you to.
Dr. Gilda Carle had it made. She’d logged 18 years as a public school teacher in New York City, and that gave her powerful job security. But something inside her kept nagging: “I knew I wanted to do more,” says Carle. She loved the students in her Bronx classroom, but she was feeling stifled by the bureaucracy, and she no longer felt the excitement — the joy — that had initially led her to teaching. When she voiced her unease to colleagues, what they said to her was plain: “ ‘Nobody leaves this job,’ is what one told me,” Carle recalls.
For a few years Carle just stayed on, unhappy and unfulfilled, but then she did the unthinkable: She quit.
“I thought that I had everything to lose by leaving, but when I finally did I made an amazing discovery,” recalls Carle. “I never looked back on what I lost, only on what I’ve gained.”
Right after quitting, Carle began a self-transformation that’s let her become a bestselling author (Don’t Bet on the Prince!: How to Have the Man You Want by Betting on Yourself), and a regular commentator on Court TV. “I’m having the time of my life, all because I got up the nerve to leave my comfort zone.”
Are you in a comfort zone? If you take your job
for granted and you like it, the answer is yes. If you’re worried about the economy and ready to hunker down where you are, yes again. Resist the temptation. Breaking out of a comfort zone by choice is always more enjoyable, so don’t wait for a layoff or early- retirement offer to challenge yourself. You may find that, contrary to expectation, it’s a good time to try a new career or to go for a promotion. Even if you stay in your current job, leaving your comfort zone will pay dividends, either in tangible ways (think money or a new title) or, at the very least, in greater personal satisfaction.
No pain, no gain
A comfort zone isn’t inherently bad; it only becomes bad when it holds us back. When one day blurs into the next, but whenever you think, even for a second, about moving on to new possibilities your stomach knots up in fear — that’s the symptom of a full-blown comfort zone that begs for a change. Motivational speaker and sales guru Tom Hopkins explains: “Comfort zones keep us from taking risks, and we can become paralyzed by the fears associated with change — but I will tell you that the pain of change is forgotten when the benefits that result from making changes finally show up.”
Ask Charles Orden. A few years ago he found himself stuck in a rut as a new- home salesman with ABD Development Company in Orlando. He enjoyed selling custom homes but, only in his early 30s, Orden had to admit to himself that he was trapped in a comfort zone. His income had plateaued, as had his job responsibil-ities. But then he decided to change all that — “I realized that if I wanted more I had to take charge.”
Orden’s mission wasn’t triggered by a bad experience, just a mounting sense that his comfortable job had become a sweet trap. He wrote out some ambitious goals — and, sure, he heard those little, self-mocking, internal laughs that haunt anyone thinking about making a big change — but he resolved to plunge ahead. Flash-forward five years, and today the 38-year-old Orden says his income is up tenfold and, just as important, he’s worked his way up into a senior management position where he not only sells, but also manages the overall sales effort and helps design new-home communities. “This is much more creatively satisfying work,” he says.
Orden admits that as he pushed himself up, he had to consider the possibility of failure. “I had plenty of fear, but the more fear I felt, the harder I worked, and the more I kept reading and learning. That’s how I pulled myself out of my comfort zone.”
Anxiety is good
How to get out of a comfort zone? Step one: Accept that it won’t happen if you’re not perspiring. “Anxiety is a sign that you are on the verge of growth,” says Lewis Losoncy, a psychologist in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania, and co-author of Skills of Encouragement: Bringing Out the Best in Yourself and Others (St. Lucie Press). “The butterflies in the stomach, the sweaty palms — these are good! They always precede the greatest accomplishments in our lives.”
Step two: “Take pen in hand and write out your dreams,” says Hopkins. “Writing is key,” Losoncy adds, because when it’s written, it becomes more real. A related step: “Visualize breaking out of your comfort zone; see this in your mind’s eye,” says Hopkins. You are starring and directing in this movie, so get it exactly as you want it. When that picture is firmly in focus, Hopkins says, you’ve taken a sizable step toward getting where you want to be.
How? Take step three: Keeping that picture in mind, “start taking actions to get you there,” says Kate Larsen, a Minneapolis- based corporate and lifestyle coach. “This will take courage — accept that, but keep on going for it.”
There will be setbacks, adds Losoncy. “That’s why you need courage — and don’t forget it’s a big part of ‘encouragement.’ When you have the courage to change, you’ll find the encouragement you need to persist.”
Sounds tough? Definitely, says Gilda Carle, “but you have to trust that you will survive this and will come out much better for it. It’s only when we finally break out of our comfort zones that we discover just how much fun life is supposed to be.”
BABY STEPS
Don’t want to make a big leap out of your comfort zone? Start with a few small ones. Cases in point: Drive a new route to work, says Lisa Gundry, a professor of management at DePaul University in Chicago.
It sounds elementary, but, says Gundry, it’s a fast-track tactic for knocking ourselves out of everyday ruts. When you shatter ingrained habits — how you get to work, how you answer the phone, which section of the morning newspaper you turn to first — you open yourself up to dramatically more creative thinking.
Eat sushi. Our food choices reflect what we’re comfortable with — and a metaphoric slap in the face is to skip the burger and go for the California roll. You already like sushi? Chow down on snails or tripe or bird’s nest soup — something new, different, a little scary.
Go on vacation, says Dr. Carol McClelland, an industrial psychologist and author of Changing Careers for Dummies. Make it some place you’ve never been, preferably a foreign country. “Live in a different environment, even for a few days, and you can look at your own life with different eyes,” she says.
The advantage of taking these tiny steps: “You’ll get used to the anxiety you feel when making any changes,” McClelland says, “and you won’t be spooked when you start making bigger, more important changes.” —