Homer's Home
by Joseph Guinto
Homer's Home
Homer Simpson is a man of simple pleasures - all of which he can
easily find in his hometown of
Springfield.
Homer Simpson, holding a mug of Duff beer in one hand and a jelly
donut in the other, sits in a dark corner of the bar between two
unattractive men who seem to be waiting for him to say something.
But he says nothing. Inside Moe's Tavern, a landmark dive in the
town of Springfield, he is staring through the smoke and
semidarkness at a jar of pickled eggs that appears to be so old the
bar may have been built around it. The two men with him, Lenny and
Carl, know that it can be pointless to force conversation upon
Homer when he is in this nearly catatonic state, a tiny glint of
drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. But I do not. I'm a
newcomer to Springfield and to Moe's, and I have come here hoping
to speak with Homer, a man who has dominated this town's headlines
ever since his birth was greeted in the Springfield Shopper with
the front-page proclamation: "Unusually Large, Ugly Baby Born."
Homer Simpson has made even more news since then, for he has been
involved with many things involving many people here in Springfield
- his own snowplow business, his successful recording career, his
work on behalf of the local church as a missionary in the South
Pacific, his stint as Springfield's chief of police, his role as
curator of the now-defunct Museum of Hollywood Jerks. And that's
just the beginning.
Homer Simpson has been a blackjack dealer, a
pin monkey at the
bowling alley, a
baseball mascot, and a film
producer. He's also faced off against the heavyweight champion of
the world, stopped a stampeding elephant, and both averted and
nearly caused a meltdown at the nuclear power plant where he works
when he's not engaged in some entrepreneurial endeavor. Indeed, it
seems that Homer is a man who can do anything he wants.
Anything.
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