Ya want my advice - and you do, or they wouldn't pay me to be here - there are three things in life that matter.

The first thing? Appreciate a good meal.

Your friends let you down. Your family lets you down. But a good saltimbocca never lets you down. You learn to cook, you got a friend for life.

That's the first thing.

The second thing? Make the most of the place you're in. Look, I live in Jersey. What's so funny? You think somethin's funny? Huh?

Heyyy, relax, I'm just messin' witchya. People make fun of Jersey. I know that. You think I don't know that? Does it bother me? No. You know why? Because they don't know.

Maybe somebody else likes the mountains or the big cities or whatever. But anywhere else doesn't have nothin' everywhere else doesn't have. Ya know?

Whattayou want? A nice house? It's anywhere you want. Not the setting. Not the size. What you make of it. Even if you live in a dump, you can make it yours, and that makes it nice. What else you want? A place to go, nice restaurant, say? You don't have to be in the city for that. I got a couple of nice places I like to go to. Heard of the Bada-Bing? They treat me good; what more do I need? What I am saying is this: Jersey, New York, Montana, what's the difference? It is what you make it.

The third, and most important thing, is what you hear all the time, but it is true: Nothing is more important than family. Sure, they stab you in the back. They rat you out to the FBI. Whatever. And even when they aren't turning state's evidence, they can be a real pain in the rump. Hey, can you say "rump" at a school campus? My language, it gets a little salty sometimes; forgive me. But when you get thrown in the slammer because your consigliere is a goombah, you maybe use some language. Capisce?