- Renee Rannow, Huntington Beach, California

"HMM, DID I LEAVE THE IRON ON?"
"I had a business convention in Albuquerque, and invited my fiancé on the trip. We drove to the airport and parked at the curb. My fiancé was unloading the car and seeing about our tickets. I was so cold that I went inside to sit down. I told him I wanted some coffee and he left. After he brought me the coffee, they called our flight. We boarded and were in the air only a few minutes when the flight attendant announced, 'Does anyone here drive a Lincoln Town Car, license number such and such?' My fiancé raised his hand. She then announced that we had left our car at the curb - running and with all the doors and the trunk open!"
- Elizabeth Powell, Carthage, Texas

NO MORE POLISH JOKES
"I was in Poland riding through the country in a taxi. There were cows grazing right by the side of the road with no fences, and the driver was going about 70 mph. I said, 'In the U.S., they have to keep the cows behind a fence. Don't you have problems with cows walking onto the road?' He replied, 'Our cows are not stupid.'"
- Kyle Reid, Naperville, Illinois

IT HAPPENED MANY MOONS AGO
"The funniest thing that ever happened to me was the time I was staying in a hotel in Austin, Texas. I stepped out of my room briefly to pick up my morning paper, and the door slammed shut with a horrifying clunk. All I had on was a pair of briefs. I had to scurry up and down the hallway until I found a housekeeper. Her wide eyes betrayed her shock, then we both broke up laughing. Suffice to say she got me back in my room safe and sound."
- Mason I. Myers, Baltimore, Maryland

THE EX-FILES