The literary greats lay the groundwork for your very own odd, funny masterpiece.For generations, slumber parties have consisted of three things: junk food, prank phone calls and
Mad Libs. The latter are simple tales with words omitted, for which one partygoer — unaware of the story — is prompted to provide replacements by part of speech, with hilarious results. Now adults can get in on the fun too. The pseudonymous Wright N. Poorly has assembled
Lit Libs: Mash-Up a Classic! (Potter Style, $10), a collection of 40 excerpts from classic literature using the same fill-in-the-blank treatment. We invited a group of esteemed modern authors to have a go at blindly rewriting the classics.
Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart”By Joanne Sydney Lessner
It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my
nostril , but, once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I
endured the
number cruncher . He had never
trusted me. He had never given me
Rolaids . For his
I had no desire. I think it was his
armpit ! Yes, it was this! One of his resembled that of an
armadillo — a pale
fetid eye with
Spanx over it.
Joanne Sydney Lessner is the author of
Pandora’s Bottle (Flint Mine Press, $14), a novel inspired by the true story of the world’s most expensive bottle of wine. Her play
Critical Mass, about married opera critics and the tenor whose career they’ve ruined, opens in New York in October.
Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet LetterBy Caroline Leavitt
When the
boss young woman — the of this
cataclysm — stood fully revealed before the
roadkill , it seemed to be her first impulse to clasp the
bell-bottoms closely to her
tibia ; not so much by an impulse of
radness , as that she might thereby conceal a certain
pair of hot pants , which was wrought or fastened into her
tube top . On the breast of her
giana shirt , in fine red cloth, surrounded with an elaborate embroidery and fantastic flourishes of gold thread, appeared
jordache jeans .
Caroline Leavitt is the award-winning author of nine novels, including the upcoming
Pictures of You (Algonquin Books, $14).
Jack London’s The Call of the WildBy Mark Rotella
All day Buck brooded by the pool or roamed
groggily about the
playground … At times when he paused to contemplate the
core of the
soccer goal , he forgot the pain of it; and at such times he was aware of a great pride in himself — a pride than any he had yet experienced. He had killed
a mole , the noblest game of all, and he had killed in the presence of the
charcoal grill and
a pair of vans .
Mark Rotella lives in
New Jersey and is the author of the new book
Amore:
The Story of Italian American Song (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, $28).
Your turn! Fill in the blanks with words or phrases as indicated to create your own spin on the Jules Verne classic
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.(Click the image below to view then print.)