1. Read this entire Top 10 list looking for the punch line. - Lonnie Haynes,
Raleigh, North Carolina


1. Wears flip-flops when starting the climb up El Yunque.

2. Orders a drink "on the rocks" in England.

3. Calls a woman "madame" in Nevada.

4. Pronounces the word Cay as cay (rather than key) in the British Virgin Islands.

5. Looks up all the time in Manhattan.

6. Says "Wow!" to the flight attendant when getting a hot towel in first class.

7. Wears heavy perfume or cologne on a plane.

8. Applauds when the plane lands.

9. Uses a flash when taking a picture out an airplane window.

10. Asks the flight attendant, "What's the time here?" - Steve Carducci, Brooklyn, New York


10. They buy headsets on the airplane instead of bringing their own.

9. They wait until the whole movie is over to stand in line for the bathroom.

8. They can't buckle their seat belt (usually because they're sitting on it or trying to use part of yours).

7. They read all of the security cards available and pantomime the safety procedures when the attendant is going through the speech.

6. They immediately get in line when the plane starts boarding, even though they're assigned to Group 6.

5. They stand in the aisle to load their numerous carry-ons into the overhead compartments (thus holding up the entire boarding process).

4. They can't figure out how to turn on the light or use the air conditioner nozzle, so they end up reading in the dark, freezing, and repeatedly calling the attendants.

3. They cross the personal-space zone by clutching your arm every time there is turbulence, leaning in to you to see out the window (they're usually in the middle seat), and drooling on you when they fall asleep on your shoulder.

2. They freak out and call the attendant when they see their luggage still on the tarmac (and, yes, they are still loading the plane).