American Way Cover - 2/1/2002

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Mark

Losing It

by Jim Shahin
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After he left for school, I looked in the laundry basket. This will come as a surprise: They weren't there. I checked the washer. Empty. I opened the dryer. A pile of towels. Two of his shirts (again, with the two) among the pile, but only two, both of them out of season.

So where were all of his shirts? It's not like we were talking about socks. Those, I could understand. As everyone knows, socks are notoriously free-spirited. In any given pair, one of them invariably makes a break for it, leaving its mate alone, waiting for a return that never comes. But shirts? They're dependable. They're the things you give off your back. They never stray. Unless we're talking dry cleaners, which is a different story altogether.

Everything gets lost at the dry cleaners. Skirts. Sweaters. You name it. But there, the clothes don't so much run away as get abducted. There are as many dry cleaners stories as there are people who frequent them. But a friend of mine, Mark, spins a yarn that's worth retelling because it's a cut above the others and because telling it helps me make my word count.

His tale begins routinely enough, with him dropping off five shirts at the cleaners. When he goes to pick them up, he's told they're missing.

This was the second time in a row the cleaners had lost his clothes. The first time they lost not only his shirts, but his pants as well. That time, everyone was apologetic and practically sobbing that this sort of thing never happens. A forgiving guy, Mark was moved by their heartfelt sentiments and by the wad of cash and credits the owner gave him as amends. He gave them a second chance.

On the second occasion, the owner was more than apologetic. He was vexed and upset. We'll find them, he vowed.


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