metal roofs | potato chips

Moving In

by Jim Shahin
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If I have learned anything from our recent house move, it is that the great thing about appearances is that, true enough, they are deceiving.

If you visited our house, you'd think we have moved in. Oh, we live here. You can tell because the TV is set up, the computer is plugged in, and there is a pile of mail on the table. Well, two piles. Okay, three.

But don't be fooled.

We moved into this house three months ago. But we are not moved in.

We stopped moving in around the time that we got a table to eat at, a couch to sit on, and a bed to sleep in.

"Don't worry," a friend told me. "The last 10 percent always takes 90 percent of the effort."

So, what does the last, oh, 60 percent take?

THINGS DIDN'T start out this way.

After both moving vans left - Both? you say. Yes, both. As in two? Two, yes, two moving vans. And not just any vans, but those giant, takes-up-14-parking-spaces vans, packed to their metal roofs with the stuff of lives that collect clutter like the universe collects matter. And, like the universe's matter, it is a bunch of stuff I don't understand. "Why do we have this?" "Because we might use it someday." "We haven't used it in 10 years. In fact, we never used it. We never even liked it." "We might use it. I sorta like it." "Okay, okay, forget it. Throw it in the box."

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, after the two vans pulled away from our house, we dug right in.

The first day, we were a furniture-
arranging, box-opening, kitchen-stuff-putting-away machine. A lot of that had to do with a consultant we hired. Actually, she's not a consultant. And technically, we didn't hire her, although I count the promise of a dinner sometime down the road as pretty much the same thing.

Her name is Marion. She has a screw loose, because she is still our friend even after helping us on each of the four moves we've made in the last five years. (Considering the number of moves, I guess when it comes to loose screws, it takes one to know one.)

Marion is not just type A. She is type Double A. When confronted with a task, whether it's making dinner for an army of her kids' friends or arranging for a vacation or writing another book (she has around six of them now, I think), she takes no prisoners, no guff, and most of all, no lollygaggin'.

She arrived in the morning, and by the time she left that evening, we had a facsimile of a real home. Bookcases were filled. Glassware was put away. Electronic­ equipment was hooked up. Records (yes, vinyl) were alphabetized.

Granted, we still had a lot of what I call the for-nows. "That? Sure, that's fine there - for now." At least we had gotten enough put away that we had a pathway from the refrigerator to the bathroom.

Jessica and I kept the momentum going for a while, and then, one weekend, we took a breather.

We didn't organize the pantry. We didn't put away CDs. We didn't hang clothes that seemed to be breeding in their tall wardrobe boxes.

What we did was go to the movies. And eat out. Regular stuff, stuff that nonmoving people do.

It was glorious. Wondrous. Technicolorous. But it also leads me to a bit of advice for any of you currently or soon to be moving: Never take a breather.

Moving is the enemy. You don't work with it. You don't negotiate with it. You beat the livin' unprintable out of it. You keep it on the run. You must be merciless. Ruthless. It's black-and-white. You or it. You take a breather, it seizes on your weakness and, little by little, takes back its territory. "Wasn't going to a movie great?" it hisses in your ear. "Go again next weekend." And you do. And before you know it, you are living in a house where you can't tell the unpacked from the lived-in.

Don’t let happen to you what happened to us. Look around our house. Pictures lean against the walls, unhung. Boxes are tucked discreetly beneath a drop-leaf table behind the couch. The peanut butter is on the same shelf as the potato chips, for cryin’ out loud.

Oh, and all those for-nows? They’re fast becoming forevers.

But, hey, they look okay where they are. And sometimes looks are all that matters.



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ISSUE: Apr 15, 2006
American Way Cover - 4/15/2006