The Wall Street Journal | beverage | heart attack | stroke
Take Two Beers And Call Me In The Morning
by
Jim ShahinReseachers have discovered that beer is
healthy. what's next? Bacon cheeseburgers?
So now they say that beer is good for you. Pardon me a second while
I consider that. (YEEEEE-HA! Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
Ding dang doodle. All night long. ALLLL night long! Wowie zowie.
Who'da thunk? If beer is good for you, the healthiest place on the
planet must be any football stadium on a Sunday afternoon. Crack me
open another one, mama. Yowza. Uuu-eee, boy.
Ramma-ramma-ding-dong.)
All right. I'm back.
Sometimes you just gotta love science.
Just when you thought your tax dollars were going to frivolous
things like cures for diseases and remedies for pollution, along
comes a report that immeasurably helps mankind. Womankind, too, for
that matter, although they'd likely be better served by a study
proving the health benefits of Cosmopolitans.
"After more than 20 years of research and scores of studies on the
effects of moderate alcohol consumption on health," says a story in
The Wall Street Journal, "beer is slowly bubbling to the top as a
beverage that not only lifts spirits but delivers protection
against major ailments such as
heart attack,
stroke, hypertension,
diabetes, and dementia."
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