Sit … stay … speak your mind. Imagine what you can learn with the Bow-Lingual, a revolutionary device from toy maker Takara that analyzes and interprets the barks of more than 80 common canine breeds. After categorizing yelps into predefined emotional states, which include happy, sad, frustrated, on-guard, assertive, and needy, a hand-held receiver translates Spot’s “words” into one of roughly 200 English phrases. Simply clip the microphone unit onto your pet’s collar and it can chat from up to 30 feet away. Alas, given the gadget’s startling accuracy, we fear it won’t be long before Spot demands his rightful place at the dinner table. $100. www.bowlingual.com